What we hear most from newlyweds: Things they wish they’d known before planning their wedding
Hi there – I’m Patrick, a Hertfordshire-based wedding photographer, and over the years I’ve chatted with more than a few couples who’ve passed on their top-tips they wished they’d thought of before their Big Day. so I see it as my duty (!!) to pass them on!
Wedding Planning Tips Newlyweds Wish They Knew
💡 It all goes by so fast
You spend months (sometimes years) thinking about the day, maybe dreaming about it, planning the details… and then, suddenly, it’s over. Many newlyweds say they wish someone had told them this more strongly.
If only you had known:
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That mid-afternoon when you’re walking down the aisle, you’ll blink and the evening will begin in what feels like seconds.
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That you’ll want more pauses, more quiet moments, more looking into each other’s eyes, just to let it sink in.
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That holding a camera or phone to capture everything ironically stops you from remembering what you’re seeing and feeling.
Accept that the day will fly by
Carve out two or three mini-moments in your schedule where it’s just you two, not the guests, not the speeches. A walk, a drink, a minute “just us”. It’ll feel like a gift.
When it comes to the evening, try and go outside with each other or a good friend pretty much on the hour and look back at where the celbration is still happening. When you go back in, the love in the room will hit you like a wave as you see your guests looking their fabulous best and revelling in the moment! Someone gave us this advice on the day and it genuinely worked. Instead of it being 8pm, then 10.30 then time to go it was 8pm, then 9pm, then 10pm and so on!
Embracing Imperfection: It’s OK if Things Don’t Go Exactly to Plan
🎯 Perfection isn’t possible, and that’s actually okay
You could aim for perfection (and some of you should, if that’s your style).
But the truth is: nothing ever exactly goes to plan. A missing buttonhole. A slightly late limo. A drizzle when you were praying for sun. And that’s fine.
Newlyweds often say: We spent so much time stressing the tiny stuff… only to realise later that the tiny stuff doesn’t matter. What matters is how you felt!
Pick your “non-negotiables” (cake flavour you love, that special photographer you gel with, the band you can’t stop playing) – and let the rest breathe.
My own quote for this is ‘you can’t go to the zoo without seeing the monkeys!’ and genuinely, the only 2 people in the room that are aware of anything going slightly sideways are the Bride and Groom! Everyone else will be eating, deinking, dancing and generally marveliing at your fabulous wedding planning skills so don’t miss out on the magic you have created!
👥 Why Choosing the Right Hertfordshire Wedding Photographer Matters
You won’t see everything, and that’s why your team matters
Here’s a statement every couple should hear: “You won’t see it all.”
If someone asks you how your wedding went, literally the day after, you will reply ‘IT WAS THE BEST DAY OF OUR LIVES!’. If they then gave you a piece of paper and asked you to write down 40 things that were amazing, you will in all likelihood struggle to do so! It will be like spending a day at the beach and trying to remember your favourite wave!
MY approach has always been to freeze a couples day, and my advice would be to look through several complete weddings of a photographer’s portfolio and see if you can ‘feel’ the day. If someone wants to know how your day went they should be able to look at your photographs and tell you how it went!
There will be moments you miss – that your partner misses. The friend you forgot to hug. The great joke someone told. The tear in your dad’s eye while walking you down the aisle. You’ll catch some of it in photos (yay!) and the rest becomes a warm memory you share later.
Which is exactly why investing in people you trust is so…incredibly… important. Your photographer, your planner, maybe your videographer – they’ll be hunting those little shots, those quiet corners, so you can enjoy being in the moment.
So, when you’re choosing your suppliers, say yes to people you like as well as those whose portfolios you admire. Personality matters.
💰 Budget Tips: You’ll Remember How It Felt, Not How Much It Cost
This one surprises couples who’ve been crunching the numbers for months. After wedding-day haze clears, people don’t remember the price of the tablecloths – they remember the hug, the laugh, the moment when the music started and aunty started busting some moves or dad crying for the first time in years.
It’s totally natural to have a budget but when my wife and I were getting married we budgeted everything around the entertainment (we had an AMAZING band), the food and drink, and the photography, because we wanted evryone to be fed and watered, have a great night and memories for us to cherish afterwards. The cost before turns into value after if you choose the right person for you!
If you ask newlyweds:
“What part was worth every pound?” They’ll answer things like:
- “The extra half-hour of photography so we could walk out on our own for night-time portraits.”
- “The moment our whole guest-list spontaneously stood up and sang along.”
- “The five minutes when there were no speeches, no music, just us on the terrace under fairy lights.”
Decide where you want to spend your budget. I’d put first things first: the photographer you connect with, good food (because if your guests are starving…), and a timeline that lets things breathe. Everything else is icing.
📸 Natural Documentary Wedding Photography Tips for Hertfordshire Couples
Book People You Like and Trust
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Book someone you trust and actually like. You’ll be spending hours with them: prep, ceremony, portraits, party. If you’re not comfortable it’ll show.
Communicate Your Photography Priorities
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Talk it out. Let them know your priorities: “We really want lots of candids”, “We’d prefer fewer big staged portraits”, or “We must have this family photo, for sure”.
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Hold dates early, but give yourself breathing room. Reputable photographers offer a short “hold” period (I do) so you can sleep on it. Don’t rush. When couples come to my studio I reserve their date with no deposit for 3 days after and never ask them if they would like to book when they come to see me. It’s too important a decsion to be ‘nudged’ and it’s meant that every one of my fabulous couples have chosen me for all the right reasons and that feels GOOD!
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Don’t forget: you’ll remember how you felt most. The laughter, the tear, the quiet moment, my goal is to capture that, not just “nice images”. It’s for this reason I ALWAYS stay into the night, not just the first dance plus a few dancing shots when everyone is still on their best behaviour! I want the shots when everyone is ROCKING and very often find myself there until the very end! Can’t beat a good wedding!
🍰 Enjoying Your Wedding Day: Relax, Eat, Drink, and Soak It In
On the day itself: enjoying it matters more than the schedule
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Eat. Really. I know you’re busy, but a hungry bride / groom is not a happy one (and I’ve seen it more than once).
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Drink water. You’ll be chatting, dancing, laughing, you’ll want hydration.
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Don’t stress the schedule. Yes, we need a rough plan, but permission granted to deviate. Guests will still arrive, speeches will still happen, but when you relax… the good stuff happens.
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It’s about marriage, not just the wedding. I say that because later, many couples say: we were so caught up in “the day” we forgot a little about the life after. Don’t let that happen.
📌 Final Thoughts: Be Present and Enjoy Your Wedding
Final thoughts, one last piece of advice
If you remember one thing from all this, let it be: be present.
Stand in the aisle and look around. Feel the air, hear the giggles, see the people you love.
At midnight, as the DJ winds down and your shoes are off, you’ll share a look and say: “We did it.”
And that’s the moment you’ll remember – not whether the flowers were exactly as on Pinterest.
So let go of “exactly”, embrace “real”, and plan your day in a way that puts you two firmly at the centre. Because afterwards, that’s all you’ll need.
If you’re starting to think about your photography (or anything wedding-related), I’d love to chat. Based in Hertford, covering Herts, London and beyond, I’m all about natural, relaxed moments that tell your story, often better than you realise in the moment. I love to listen and chat, and my kettle is always on!
Until then, happy planning, and may your journey to “I do” be as calm, confident and joyful as your wedding day deserves!
👉 Contact me, Patrick ☎️ Phone: 07903 088906 📧 info@patrickphotographer.com or via our contact form!
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